Writing III Descriptive Text : THE ROCK !!!
Dwayne Johnson who also known as ‘The Rock’ on the ring is my
favorite wrestler. He was born on May 2nd 1972 in Hayward,
California. His height is 196 cm with 120 kg weight. Dwayne is the grandson of
the famous wrestler Peter Maivia and the son of the wrestler as well Rocky
Johnson which makes him become the third generation wrestler in his family
tree. He is the great guy with many talents. Dwayne Johnson has skill as
wrestler and actor who shows many achievement in his careers.
As the
wrestler, The Rock started his career in 1995. He was trained by his father who
also the wrestler along with some of his relatives. After took a year for
training Dwayne started his debut in 1996 when he known as ‘Rocky Maivia’ at that time. It was the
combination of his grandfather and father’s name. Unfortunately, his decision
to use his grandfather and father’s name made their fans angry. So after he
became Intercontinental champion in 1998, Dwayne decided to use name ‘The
Rock’. His great confidence made me proud because even people around him hated
him, he still go on and prove that he is not follower of his grandfather and
father.
As an actor Dwayne has become the
great actor as well. His first debut was in movie entitled ‘Beyond the Mat’ in 1999. After this first movie, some home production
signed contract with him especially for some action movies that very suitable
with him such as ‘The mummy returns’ (2001)
‘The scorpion king’ (2002) and still
continuous until his movie in 2015 entitle ‘Fast
and Furious 7’.
Even he is so busy with both of his
career but Dwayne proved that he could make many achievement in his careers. In
2001 he won the awards as the best actor in ‘Choice Sleazebag’ for his acting
in ‘The Mummy returns’, also he
nominated has the best fighter, the favorite male action star, favorite male
butt kicker, and his last nomination as Artist of the year in 2014.
Dwayne Johnson is the multitalented
person. His achievement as wrestler and actor proved that he is the great guy
who has spirit to do something for good even when you are hated by people around
you. That undying spirit inspiring many of his fans.
Wow, you have a great idol, Adi :)
BalasHapusHe is so multitalented, right?
I love your writing. You have a good story.
However, I think you have to pay attention on the mechanic in your story because if you do not use a good mechanic, the readers will be hard to understand your sentence.
For example, the sentence in the second paragraph. You wrote, "Unfortunately, his decision to use his grandfather and father’s name was make their fans angry so after he became Intercontinental champion in 1998, Dwayne decided to use name ‘The Rock’."
I think it is better if you separate it into 2 sentences. It should be, "Unfortunately, his decision to use his grandfather and father’s name made their fans angry. So, after he became Intercontinental champion in 1998, Dwayne decided to use name ‘The Rock’."
Overall, you have done a good job. Keep writing :)
okay widya, thank you for your correction ^^
BalasHapusSorry bro, another thing to noted
BalasHapus"for good even you are hated by people around you."
i personally think it's supposed to be
"for good even when you are hated by people around you."
you miss something small and yet important there bro
okay bro ^^ thank you
BalasHapusHi Adi... it's nice to come here (visit your blog)
BalasHapusas always, you've done a good job. actually It's hard for me to find your mistake cz i think it's already good, but I found the same think like what @bisma said.
overall, it's good.
visit mine..
Hi Adi
BalasHapusyour writing is good, I can see your thesis statement is clear and you restate it again in the closing. your writing is so simple but straight to the two important points of your description. just a little mistake on mechanic and enrich your vocabulary. keep writing!
well, thank you for visiting my blog @adywira and @candra ^^
BalasHapusWell, I think your description is good, and I know little information about it even though I never know the actor... Your thesis statement is clear and the information delivered well,, nicee :)
BalasHapusSo you have a great idol adi, i think you can follow his lifestyle :D
BalasHapusjust kidding but it is really nice writing (y)